3 posts tagged “lisa shearin”
okay, i basically went with a different system this time for jotting down thoughts--which is to say that i didn't, because i didn't read the ebook. on the other hand though, i was reading a paper copy, and so i settled for dog-earing the pages that had some minor error and whatnot on it instead, and will not proceed to try to flip to said dog-eared pages and remember exactly what i thought was wrong with either the writing or the storyline; this will probably take me a while. here goes:
p. 24 - this is the second time she's mentioned that what tam and she did scared her more, and it gets redundant. and annoying.
p. 70 - raine at one instance says "what can i say? i'm the most popular spellslinger in town." i originally read this as spellsinger and thought there was some mistake in the editing process, but either way.. it was confusing, and maybe a different word choice would've been nice.
p. 102 - the character mentions it herself--people keep offering to let her stay wherever, and in the exact same words. is there any variety in the character pool, some distinguishing speech patterns? otherwise it gets old to read, fast.
p. 104 - when she gives a summary of her 'deeds,' it was somehow written so that the character sounded like she was bragging, as opposed to scared. could've been much smoother. and also, there it is again--she says considering everything, what her and mychael did should scare her more. redundancy.
p. 106 - okay, this is just sideline observation, but it really does seem like if raine was never attached to the saghred tam wouldn't even be THAT interested. because that's the impression i got of him in the first book. so why isn't she worried about that?
p. 128 - mychael says "raine, i would never hurt you." those same words were uttered by tam a couple of pages ago. serious redundancy, again.
p. 142 - wait--if nukpana is inside the saghred, how will he somehow magically have known all this information he's feeding them? specifically, how did he know the specific deal involved in opening the demon portal? makes no sense.
p. 148 - EXTREME redundancy in the phrase "blistered the air blue." for god's sake, use it several times to add character, but in moderation. just because the author loves the phrase doesn't mean brandishing it every other sentence won't drive me, the reader, insane.
p. 152 - wait a second--they had JUST established earlier that the demon realm is simply a different dimension, and not anything like an afterlife. and here it is, contradicting that earlier stated fact--in fact, this will keep reoccuring throughout the book, and used as unclever puns, no less. lack of consistency.
p. 155 - she described his eyes as being yellow around with red in the center, and now she describes it as white with red instead. again. consistency.
p. 203 - fireplace was smoky as an excuse for her getting teary used, i believe, three times throughout the course of the scene. redundancy. or at least find more creative ways to express it differently every time, or it's just boring.
p. 218 - "I have to use something that doesn't exist to find something I don't know what it is." <-- so many ways that that sentence reads awkwardly. shouldn't an editor have picked that up?
p. 227 - piaras says "it was just a little one" in reference to a demon, followed by talon going a "little ugly never hurt anyone." piaras was clearly one of those people who witnessed the small demon growing large in the office setting earlier. either this is inconsistency, or an extremely unintelligent character.
p. 263 - wait, HOW is raine putting herself in danger for piaras if she doesn't let him go? this is her problem to solve, so isn't it more like the other way around if she does let him go? err..
p. 265 - "the pessimist inside me/inside my head" is used beyond too many times. if i had to count the times it's been used already it might arrive at 15-20, and that in my opinion is too much.
p. 362 - extremely abrupt shift from a character's one emotion into another; in fact, the lines of logic may not even completely line up. i think at this point the author was just racing to close to book, because this was near the very end, and i suspect she must've been getting impatient too.
there were likely more that i can't remember and can't be bothered to go back and reread to check right now. or likely just don't care enough to, but anyway, i've noticed that with ms. shearin's writing, redundancy and inconsistency tends to sum up most of the main flaws--they're not overly noticeable, but since i'm always on the lookout, i can't help but notice. her world-building is kind of awkward too, and i guess i'm not overly surprised, since she's still kind of new at this, but for god's sake, she needs to switch out some of that phrasing from time to time. otherwise it just shows her lack of skill, and perhaps the lack of an editor to push her hard enough.
on the other hand though, this book does show some improvements from the last, and that's the more breakneck speed the pacing is, which i thoroughly enjoyed. the action scenes are almost what i'd call well done, and the plotting is a bit more delicate than before. i'd say she's getting better at this. however, realistically? a demon horde and guardians? what is the likeliness that all of her allies, and just her allies, survives? it begins to get a bit unrealistic from that point, but it's not an issue--yet. but i do look forward to reading more, because i have a feeling that from here on, it's only going to get better, especially if taken into consideration the improvement of her writing since the first book. i'd say, in a similarly cheesy way, that it's not bad, and not too bad at all.
actually, not quite sure what to say about this, because despite entertaining me decently for the past couple of hours, i still find plenty of fault with it. which is to be the norm, i guess, but.. i almost feel bad when i'm criticizing so many books in a row. after all, what i just read was someone's sweat and tears, and possibly some blood thrown in there. that said, i'll be gentle. or i can try.
the, uhh, cover girl. she looks like a cartoon mouse. no offense if that's a real person, i'm sure she's really cute in person. she just doesn't sound anything like the hot chick described in the book? she's also drawn as a little bit pudgy in here, and with a giant forehead--not sure if my standards are too high or something. in which case it would be strictly me with the problem.
the most distracting thing throughout reading this, i felt, was that every other line felt like the closing of a summary. i'm not sure how to completely explain it, but it was like there was a sense of finality in every other line, and in which case there really wasn't much flow. i mean here i am, as a reader, just trying to get through one paragraph, and her as a writer and being continuously deceptive in her writing style, in that i keep expecting the paragraph to end since there's that air of finality in every sentence, and it's just not ending. there were also several times where plot points were obscenely obvious--it just made me wanna bang a platter on someone's head repeatedly for supposedly not being able to see it coming. there were also times where i was completely fooled, but that counts one against many.
okay, i'll leave that alone for now.
but another big thing also involves plotting, or her writing of it, at least--why were so many points repeated in dialogue? it's like one her characters will suddenly exclaim, oh my god, this happened! and i'm staring at the page and going, yeah, she already told you that 5 pages ago. get with it. and characters aren't even aware they're repeating something they've already said--which means probably that the author had no idea what she's already mentioned and what she hasn't. so like diana palmer in her amateurish scifi shot, she'll just repeat it until she's absolutely certain it almost becomes the catchphrase of the chapter. it gets tiring pretty fast.
a giant gaping plot hole too--all the people investigating the disappearances were supposed to be competent? they're supposed to be experienced, right? they're enforcers, as in, crime-fighters, that type of thing? SO. why the hell did NO ONE put two and two together and see the pattern among the people who were kidnapped? that's the first thing any investigator would do. what, did they really think it was completely random and just sit by and twiddle their thumbs? it strikes me as not even close to what might have happened, that no one would even bother to wonder if there might even be a pattern. so, essentially, i want to give this a 3 for entertainment level; however, i'm gonna stick by a 2.5 for that point alone. in trying to make her dumb heroine look smart she just made everyone else look even dumber. shame.
guess i failed in trying not to sound harsh after all.
very princessy cover. i seem to be plowing through these types of books much slower than i used to be able. anyway, this book was decent for its plot, but there was the potential there, which annoyed me because all it really needed was a better editor. come on, this is published by ACE! they have a shitload of editors. i could've done a better job editing this. a lot of cases where it's the wrong word used--i didn't note the pages, so i don't remember exactly what. it was something like "make yourself scarce," only she used some other word besides what was intended, or had some weird spelling to the word that meant something else entirely. coem on, if i could pick up the errors anyone could. what are they paying the editors for, damn it?
i also got annoyed that she couldn't quite decide on a love interest for the main character, and kept switching back and forth. not to mention, the love interests in question don't seem very concerned that she seems to be stringing the both of them along--or even act remotely jealous, at all. that doesn't seem very realistic to me. also, i feel like palias (was that his name?) should have had some weird sort of attraction to the man character, considering he's in his teenage yrs and that's just what they do when a cool kickass older chick is there. granted i get that she shouldn't feel the same, but he should've had that sort of attachment. it would've made it more realistic. and there was also one instance where she uses the slang "great aunt gertrude"--when this is a fantasy world, and all the names are all fantasy names, and you stick that in? come on. the editor should have asked her to change that at least. it was just so completely out of place and jarring. another major flaw i can think of off the top of my head is that she got way too carried away describing their ball costumes, and i found myself skipping portions at a time. if you're going to go into description, at least make it interesting instead of making your characters sound like they're walking pillars of shiny fabric. how is that attractive?
last question. why does the entire plot revolve around a block of rock that acts like a furry pet? that's not very appealing to me, which would probably explain why they neglected to mention the part about the rock in the blurb. just as well, because i wouldn't have picked it up otherwise. i fully intend to read the next installation but don't find myself very anxious. sad. i expected more since it was recommended as being similar to dawn cook :T
